Friday, February 27, 2015 -- Week #2, Day #11 Guatemala MTC

10:07 pm

Today was a good day. Right now there's a very active fiesta going on next door, so it's gonna be hard to fall asleep, and I'll probably be tired tomorrow. The joys and sacrifices of missionary work! But I'm so glad the people are enjoying themselves tonight. It's Friday night and these people are done with a week of work and are having a good time and I am so happy for them. These people are good people and are living their lives the best way they know how, and we are here to help them be even better. So cool!

In other news, we discovered today that mis companeras and I all have a dimple on our left cheeks, how cool is that? Go genetics! We get along very well and can still be different, but we complement each other in our strengths.

I will say that it takes a lot of strength to be humble. I have always been able to do things on my own and didn't really need anyone, but this mission is something that there is absolutely no way I can do on my own. I need mis companeras to support me, and my teachers to teach me, and the latinas to talk to, and the Holy Spirit to bring things that I've heard to my remembrance, and my Savior to help me when I trip over my pride, and my Heavenly Father to let me know that He loves me. It really does takes a village to raise a child, and angels go before and behind us as we press forward in faith. So cool! God is pretty smart, ya know.

Today we had one on one counseling from Hno Garcia, and he helped me sort through my mixed emotions some more. He is just so good! He has such faith in us and wants to help push us to be the powerful and confident representatives of Jesus Christ that he knows we fully have the capacity to be. He told me that he knows that I have been called to learn Spanish and teach God's children in Honduras. I was chosen from all the missionaries to that responsibility because I can handle it and become great because of it. He has such faith in these little 18 and 19 year-olds that come to him, not knowing what we've gotten ourselves into, but it is his stewardship to help mold and direct us into what we can be. Incredible.

And Hna Giron is crazy awesome too! She served in the Dominican Republic, and got back only 4 months ago! She started teaching in the CCM on her 2nd day home. Crazy! She is amazing, so happy and sweet and sincere. I want to follow the example of my teachers, because I know without a doubt that they follow the example of Christ. We all have that capacity in us. Sometimes it takes some serious sandpaper to get us smoothed into something beautiful, but we can do it when we have the desire to change. They're inspiring people, and I am privileged to know them.

I had good experiences teaching in our appointments tonight, and my confidence is bolstered up again. I can speak Spanish, and I'm getting better at teaching. I can do this! Espanol es facil (Spanish is easy)!

Thursday, February 26, 2015 -- Week #2, Day #10 Guatemala MTC

10:03 pm

Well, today was an interesting day. In good news, I have the "Commitment for Baptism," "The First Vision," and "My Missionary Purpose" all memorized in Spanish, so I'm pretty proud of myself for that. I still need to memorize DyC 4:1-7 and DyC 20:37 (Doctrina y Convenios is Spanish for Doctrine & Covenants), but we're getting there!

Hermano Garcia also taught a neat way of explaining the Restoration with the pillars of a building, I'll have to show/talk about that sometime, it's a simple visual that helps teach the importance of the scriptures, prophets, apostles, and Christ.

In some not so great news, I finally hit a wall today and totally lost it just as we were supposed to go practice teaching to the latinos. I've been doing well these past days, but I guess the stress of having 12 of your 16 hour days be constant input of gospel in Spanish and teaching in Spanish, and talking in Spanish and thinking in Spanish and being surrounded by people you haven't met before and being so submerged in a way of life that I'm not used to living for all hours of my waking day finally got to me. And I miss my family and being home and comfortable and doing easy things, and things that are familiar and easy before are now hard and frustrating. We have a demanding schedule that is difficult sometimes. So I ended up having a panic attack or something in front of my district and the poor latinos right before we were supposed to practice together, and I started crying and couldn't breathe, so a sweet latina maestra (teacher) took me aside and we walked around outside and prayed and she talked to me (all in Spanish of course... I can understand everything they say perfectly and respond to normal questions, but sometimes I have such difficulty, emotionally and mentally when I have to practice teaching lessons to someone. I calmed down mostly, she was so gentle and nice to me, she smiled and held my hand and told me how great I was doing. I realized that I really missed having human touch this whole time, since that's something you tend to avoid as a missionary, apart from handshakes. I still feel kinda emotionally turmoiled about everything, but I really am ok being here.

Resilience

Mis companeras (my companions) are strong and supportive, and we help pull each other through all this. And they're so funny! I love them. So I know that God is mindful of His little daughter trying to figure out how to be the missionary I need to be, and He loves me, and He will help me do anything He needs me to do.

I'm doing ok now, and I'll keep learning, but this made me think that maybe all those missionaries who are trying so hard to learn a language might need a little extra help from your prayers, and I think of Nate and how he's learning Russian right now, and how hard of a time I'm having with Spanish, something I am familiar and comfortable with, and how much help and support we need as we are changing and growing into the amazing people we can be. 

So please remember the missionaries who are giving up a period of their lives and giving all of themselves, mind, body and soul, to serve others who they don't yet know but love so much, and are trying their best to understand and learn and so they can teach these people in their own language so they can better understand the love God has for them. This is humbling experience, and makes you knock everything down and build a better structure from the ground up, and it is incredibly hard, but the end goal is so awesome. 

There isn't anything I can think of that would fully prepare you for the way this stuff works, being a missionary is the hardest thing I've done in my life so far, because it's a completely different way of living. But it is so rewarding now and in the future, and I am thankful for the opportunity to be doing it, even though it takes so much time and effort to start from the beginning and kinda falling in head first. Hna Brady shared the counsel that we are called to the areas and languages that we will be the most effective in teaching the Gospel in, and I know that to be true. For me to do my best, I need to serve in la mision de Honduras San Pedro Sula Oeste, speaking the Spanish language to the people living there. I know this is the right thing for me to do, and I'll keeping progressing, mostly slowly, but most definitely surely, in an upward and forward direction.  Vamonos!

Wednesday, February 25, 2015 -- Week #2, Day #9 Guatemala MTC

9:54 pm

Today was a little crazy, teaching lessons in Spanish is hard! But things are going well and I'm still learning. Reading the Book of Mormon and el Libro de Mormon side by side is helping a lot, I learned 14 new words just from doing that so far. Also, Alma has some awesome counsel on missionary work, you should check it out!

The CCM is very small compared to the Provo and Mexico City MTCs, we only have about 90 or so missionaries here. But I love it and wouldn't want it any other way. We get to know and recognize each other much better, and it's a more personal, friendly atmosphere. We also don't have the little dots on our name tags to identify the newbies, since we all know who's who, Hna Kleinman really wanted her dot! :P 

My male teacher, Hermano Garcia, is amazing. He always bears his testimony during class, and it is still so powerful every time. He is kind and patient, but still has high standards for us because he wants us to be the best we can. They are also having the teachers here learn another language as we learn Spanish, so he's learning Portuguese now. He and some other teacher are also learning Q'eqchi' from a sister teacher here so they can teach missionaries that go to Coban, so in a while he will know Spanish, English, Portuguese, and Q'eqchi'. He's a very good example to follow.

I've enjoyed seeing how the names of the books in the scriptures change a little into Spanish, my favorite is that James is Santiago, and Job is said "H-oh-b." It's a fun transition to say all the names in Spanish, they sound nicer.

I cold all the time here because the A/C is always on, so the hairs on my arms were standing up all day, and at cena (dinner) I exclaimed to Hna Brady, "Look! My arm is like a tree-field!" instead of using the word "forest"...I'm losing some of my English!

Tuesday, February 24, 2015 -- Week #2, Day #8 Guatemala MTC

1:52 pm

It's Pday! We made it through a whole week! It feels like a month has gone by, but I've enjoyed my time here, it feels like a whole different world and I lose track of the fact that I'm in Guatemala City. Crazy. But I've definitely done some serious learning and growing the past 7 days that I am so grateful for, even if I had to leave today and go preach the gospel I would feel so much more comfortable and confident, it's incredible what this does to you.

I've noticed that the latinos here have very fitted suit pants compared to the norte elderes, and they prefer the narrower, pointy toed shoes. Makes for a unique look.

Also it's quite windy here, and the clouds are constantly moving and changing all day, you look at the sky after 10 seconds and it's completely different! It is beautiful here.

The temple was wonderful today, everyone was very helpful and kind, and we had our session in English, and I felt wonderful after leaving. And the grounds are so gorgeous! Hydrangeas and petunias and blooming azalea bushes and palm trees and lots of other beautiful plants all vibrant and colorful, it was so nice to walk around and look at the landscaping.

Guatemala City LDS Temple

I got to email everyone today! We have computer time on Tuesdays from 2-3 pm, and I was so excited! I read all my emails and I cried from love and happiness. I appreciate that I am supported so much, it means a lot to me. The AlphaSmart works perfectly and helps me to send my daily record stuff in about 10-15 mins, then I can spend the rest of my time reading and emailing. But this was the 1st week and there was a lot of information to get back and forth. 

Today as part of Pday we had the tienda (store) come and I bought a bag! It's yellow and green and has these beautiful red flowers embroidered on the front, and it's big and has a padded shoulder strap, so I'm super excited to have something to use to carry around my stuff while I'm in the CCM. Also I got a dark blue "Guat's up?" t-shirt, to remember my time at the Guatemala CCM, it's a play on words and sounds like "What's up?"

We are also not allowed to have gum while on missions, and that is actually an adjustment I've done very well with, to my surprise. I'm pretty much over missing it, and it's actually a speech impediment when speaking Spanish. Sometimes we have a rule and we don't understand what it's for, but then later we learn through being obedient that it is a good thing and we are blessed. Even if it's not missing gum!

We had the yummiest breakfast today, and I think it might be similar to typical Honduran food, but it was so good! It was a fresh flour tortilla spread with black bean paste, then another tortilla, topped with 2 sunny-side up eggs and a sort of cheese sauce. It was very delicious and very filling. There are A LOT of eggs in our foods here, they're a cheap source of protein because meat is so expensive here and hard to buy. So it's a good thing I've learned to like them quickly!

An interesting fact about spanish is that they say "ehhh" for their filler words instead of "umm" or "and" or "sooooo" like in English. They also keep rolling their R's when they're thinking of a word, like when we stretch the vowel sound when we're forming a thought.

Monday, February 23, 2015 -- Day #7 Guatemala MTC

10:12 pm
Today was great! I got a sunburn on the side of my neck from the sun during sports, I am so white! It was crazy because we were playing volleyball as a zone (distritos mateo y jeremias) and some latinos joined in and it was fun, but the latinas are much more shy and didn't play with us. But I got the sunburn on my left side, that was towards the sun during the game, and my forearms are covered in these little sprinkles of pockmark bruises from hitting the ball so hard, but I am really good at serving, and it was nice to be outside in the sunshine.

I did laundry today, so it's nice to have most of my clothes back and clean. It's fun to see all the sisters' new outfits for the first week or so, I'm sure I'll start seeing the same clothes again sometime soon as we only have a few outfits to wear. But I'm happy and comfortable in mine, I am thankful I have such pretty clothes!

There's an ice cream brand here called Saritas, and they make the creamiest, smoothest, most yummy ice cream!  We are allowed to have one a day during almuerzo (lunch), and that is always a bright spot in my day.  My favorite is the little cup kind with strawberry and sweet cream....es muy delicioso!

Tonight we taught Daniela for the third time and we committed her to a baptism date! March 5th, and that's her birthday as well. These lessons are difficult because we are a trio, so we need to split up time and parts more, and Hermana Kleinman doesn't know any Spanish, but she tries so hard and we help her and she is like a little sister and I love her so much and want her to be so successful and I know she will be, so Hermana Brady and I usually carry most of the conversation with Daniela.

But tonight was so special because that was the first time I really felt the Spirit bring things to my mind to say and lead my thoughts and send me to scriptures and be able to give explanations that I had no previous plan of doing, all in Spanish, it was amazing for us to have that experience.

We've been talking only in Spanish all day, that's everyone's goal in the CCM for the week, and it has been just so interesting, because even though we have a very limited vocabulary, we're able to see how much we actually know, and we can communicate quite well, actually, and it felt kinda empowering and comforting to know that I can speak Spanish! I'm not fluent, but I can speak with clarity and I am learning so many new words everyday, and it is frustrating and overwhelming but I am just so proud of us, we're doing amazing things.

Guatemala MTC Branch
Here's me! Hna Kleinman is to my left and Hna Brady is on my far left.
I love them!

Today we took pictures with our rama (branch) in front of the CCM, and Saturday we had district pictures outside the Guatemala City Temple. Tomorrow we can go to the temple because it's our P-day (Preparation Day), and I am so excited! I've missed the temple, even though it's only been about a week since I went my last time in San Antonio with my parents and grandparents, I am so excited for tomorrow!

Also our showers are always cold, maybe getting tepid for the last 20 seconds, and we need to brush our teeth with water-bottle water, even though the water here is safe, it's to get us in the habit for when we're in the field.

I'm also translating the national anthem into Spanish for our latinas for fun, it's not a perfect translation, but I think it's pretty fun and it's good to have to rethink an idea into another language so that it's still understandable. It makes the hymns make more sense because I've always noticed that there's slightly different meanings, and I like having both English and Spanish so I can get both meanings.

I haven't been dreaming hardly at all, that's still kinda strange, we have such long and hard days that I hardly feel like I've slept at all, but I'm still OK and can stay awake!

Sunday, February 22, 2015 -- Day #6 Guatemala MTC

10:17 pm
Today was our first Sunday, day number 6! It feels like we've been here a month! But it's been good. The only thing I wish was a little more consistent is the schedule. We spend a good 30-35 min or so planning the next day and writing all these goals and things, and then they just change it on us and don't let us know what we need to bring or where to go or anything. So that's a little annoying, but I guess it teaches us to be patient and flexible.

In personal study, I read through 3 Nefi 11, and the fact that Jesus had glorified Heavenly Father's name stuck out to me. In Moses 6:57 He has the name "Man of Holiness," and I just thought that by Jesus taking on his Father's name and honoring it by being obedient and holy and accomplishing all the things he was asked to do, and not abusing it or doing anything not aligned with His will, Jesus really did glorify his Father's name, and that's the example we need to follow as well.

We also watched a missionary address from Elder Scott from April 26, 2013, I think, and it was amazing and comforting to hear! Elder Scott is so gentle and earnest in his counsel to the missionaries, and I felt more comfortable and at peace with my being here in Guatemala and Honduras for 18 months.

We also accepted the commitment to only speak Spanish this week, except in our letters home, so that's gonna be interesting! But I look forward to it, I think it will help me grow so much and get more comfortable with the language. It's starting to click better now, we had a break through with the latinas during lunch today, and we talked so much and laughed and it was just so fun, I love them, and am sad I only have 1 more week with them.

Saturday, February 21, 2015 -- Day #5 Guatemala MTC

3:52 pm
We have deportes (sports) everyday for an hour, and they are so fun! We played volleyball as our 2 districts (mateo y jeremias (my district!)....we're the nortes, "northerners" and it was so nice outside. Also I do bike, elliptical, and stretching, and I love it!

And the Latinos are so tiny! I'm not that big of a person, but I feel like a giant white person when I am next to them. They are very shy and don't speak hardly any English, but most of them are very patient and try to help us with words when we try to talk to them at meal-times.  Hermanas Cabrera y Zelaya usually sit by us so we can practice our Spanish.

Last night we had our first investigator discussion all in Spanish (Hermana Giron, our female instructor for Distrito Jeremias was role-playing) and it was so hard!  It didn't go very well, but now we definitely know what we need to work on to be able to be successful in the future. We will teach at least 1 or 2 lessons every night, which will be a lot of work, but we will get to be so good at teaching and understanding the language, and I am so excited to be an amazing missionary!

9:36 pm
In class today we watched a video from Elder Holland about how we should be held to higher standards of teaching, and how we can't expect our investigators to do things that we don't already do. Good to hear that, helped make more sense in my mind of how I should think and act and feel towards missionary work. He also talked about the difference between testimony and conversion. Testimony is "I know it," and conversion is "I live it." Good to think about.

We went over how to use ser y estar in language study today, and it started making more sense of how to speak Spanish, since they are used in almost every sentence, so I was very happy about that. Just have to see the charts in my mind and remember the correct conjugations. I have a lot of work to do, but I'm on a good start!

Also, our second lesson tonight went so much better! I was so happy! We got Daniela to pray with us and promise to read 2 Nefi 31 to learn about the importance of baptism, and she seemed happier and more interested. We're supposed to pick her up for church tomorrow, and we invited her to be baptized. Also, we set a tentative appointment with Victor y Monica for Monday evening, so we'll see what we can do with that.

We used the phrases from the books we have and the lesson went so much more smoothly and we had a better train of thought than our first lesson last night, I feel good. We are getting more used to working in a trio while teaching and I love mis companeras! I love my 2 teachers and our 2 companionships of guys in our Distrito Jeremias! The gospel is a beautiful thing and such a great blessing to have.

Distrito Jeremias
My district! E Roth, Cox, High, Ang, Hna Brady, me!, Kleinman